In other, more depressing news. . .

Where the frack do they find these hucksters?

Football team sports impressive recruiting class
By: Mike DeVader [Hey Mike! I'm not so sure about you being able to back up your ridiculous headline with neat things those of us in the biz call "facts" but I bet you have some hilarious "arguments."
Posted: 1/31/08
The K-State football team is less than a week away from welcoming in its 2008 recruiting class, and I couldn't be more impressed with what the coaching staff has accomplished the last couple weeks.

National Signing Day is like a second Christmas for college football coaches across the country [And sometimes insteead of an Xbox360, Daddy doesn't get the Christmas bonus and you end up with a Chinese Monopoly set that makes you pee blood and has denominations in Yen], and K-State could have one of its best recruiting classes I have seen [Where have you been looking Mike??! Are you confused and think K-State now plays in the Jayhawk league and we beat out Dodge for a lineman or two?]. At least 30 are projected to sign letters of intent Feb. 6, according to GoPowercat.com [Things are becoming clearer. Mike is a powertard.].

The recruiting business is somewhat of a gamble, you either do well, or you don't [Recruiting is like life you are either alive or your dead. Recruiting is like Christmas either you celebrate it or you go to hell. Recruiting is like a light switch, on or off.].

I have seen everything from amazing stories like former K-State running back Darren Sproles to huge busts like Marvin Simmons. [You take your chances with all 2 star recruits, I'll take my chances with all 5 stars. Deal?]

In fact, Sproles was so underrated in the recruiting process that ku told him he was too small. He certainly showed them they made a poor choice after he watched quarterback Ell Roberson run for a long touchdown in the spring game and committed on the spot to K-State. Sproles only went on to be the all-time Big 12 Conference leader, as well as No. 6 on the NCAA career list, with 6,812 all-purpose yards.

As for Simmons, well, he didn't do much of anything except fall asleep on the floor in the World Regional Geography class I had with him. [Simmons was a bust. Matt Butler probably played up to his potential. See the difference?]

A lot of people who watched the Wildcats struggle to a 5-7 record in 2007 blame it on the new 3-4 defensive scheme. The change was for the best, but everyone needs to understand the Wildcats didn't have all the right pieces in the system to be successful. I believe this year's class will bring out the defensive results fans have been wanting.[You aren't really defining what that is, but I will sell you my wiener if we allow less than 25 points a game.]

One of the most important positions in a 3-4 defense is the nose tackle [Another important position in the 3-4? 4 linebackers.]. This player is in the middle of a three-man front line and is in charge of taking up space. The Wildcats were relatively small at this position last year and have looked to the junior-college ranks for much needed help.

Football recruits are labeled with stars by recruiting sites to represent prospective talent levels. The least amount of stars is one and the most is five. The Wildcats have three potential immediate contributors next season in this recruiting class We had a few more, but why dilly-dally? The man is on a roll.].

Four-star defensive tackle Daniel Calvin committed to the Wildcats after taking a campus visit and watching the Iowa State basketball game. The 6-foot-3, 322-pounder from Bakersfield, Calif., will be thrust into the role of being the run-stuffer in the middle. The only way Calvin will not be the prized recruit is if five-star defensive end Simi kuli from Torrance, Calif., commits to K-State soon.

Two three-star players, tackle Tony Gillespie from Jenks, Okla., and junior-college transfer John Finau, a tackle from Torrance, Calif., will also add much needed depth to a position that is so crucial to this scheme's success. If anything, these defensive line recruits are a big step in the right direction[Ok. What about the other 20+ dudes? You realize football has 11 players on each side right? You told me about the star system, but you never mentioned the number of players per side. I'm worried.].

Of course, teams need more than one player to be successful [Ok, so you know that football is a team sport.]. It is obvious the team needs to fill some gaping holes [ummm. . . yeah.], and I believe this recruiting class has the pieces to get the Wildcats to where they need to be next season [Way to sneak out of there with out any benchmark of progress at all. You are a slippery one Mike DeVader!].


Mike DeVader is a senior in electronic journalism. Please send comments to sports@spub.ksu.edu.