KU Expansion More Than Just Clip-Art/Porta-Potties

In a bold move by anyone's standards, Lew Perkins has approved the construction of new "Ultra-Suites" at the KU football/track facility (pictured left). "We knew that, in order to keep up with the big dogs of the state of Kansas, we would need to market our attraction to the elite of the elite fans," Lew announced, "We believe that these premium seats will attract the kind of season ticket holder the University of Kansas football and field day event teams covet." It wasn't all hoopla and parades with this announcement though. KU faced stiff financial barriers in instituting such an aggressive construction effort. "We gathered cans for months and had cake raffle after cake raffle but we finally came up with the seven hundred and fifty bucks needed to make this happen," Lew told the gathered pedestrians outside of the Memorial Stadium parking lot. "We believe this puts us right up there with the Liberals and Garden Citys of the world.... Hell, we purchased our porta-potties from the same vendor Ness City got theirs from and we were told we got a newer model since Ness upgraded theirs." When asked what other expansions KU may have in store for their fans Lew gave a sly wink and suggested the work may not be done, "Coffeyville Community College may not be fourth in the state in concession locations for very many more years." Stay tuned Hawk fans, this could be an exciting ride!