Thursday, January 31, 2008

Hoops is my bag, cat.

According to Lance's Blog, The suit Bob Huggins wore last night was bought in House of Adam, located on Vine St. They have been around for over 50 years, specializing in exotic suits/shirts/clothes.

And, per, If you are looking for GREAT Men's Clothing for the Swing Dancer then this is the shop for you! This is the place that Jesse and I take all the instructors that come to Cincinnati because they have a great selection of wide leg pants in all sorts of colors and sizes, plenty of Zoot type suits if that's what you are into, great ties, and shirts too!

K-State, fresh off a dominating win over #2 Kansas, has many new challenges and some, unfortunately, can’t be addressed on the court. You see, sprained vagina syndrome has swept over the KC Star because their favorite team, the KU Jayhawks, got completely taken apart by the much better Kansas State Wildcats.

Jason Whitlock of the KU Star writes:

Michael Beasley and Bill Walker delivered Wednesday night inside an angry and electric Bramlage Coliseum, ending an embarrassing Kansas State losing streak, stopping Kansas’ unbeaten run and legitimizing (for the moment) Frank Martin’s hiring.
Translation: Terrible hire, terrible crowd, horrible history and losing streak. They should have gotten a solid long-term hire!

Let me pause for a moment and say that K-State’s crowd bordered on classless. I understand the passion — the losing streak and KU’s sudden football ascension heightened the importance of this game — but a K-State alum, Bailey Maxwell, stood courtside, within a few feet of midcourt, wearing a vulgar T-shirt that accurately reflected the mood and the taunts of KSU’s student section. It was a bit over the top and indicated an embarrassing level of insecurity. And I’m well aware that the majority of KSU fans have far more class than to don an obscene T-shirt while sitting on the court.
Oh man Jas’, that vergina looks even more bruised than I thought. You need some more Kleenex to wipe your whiny eyes with? Let’s get the translation: The Crowd Was Mean! My boyfriend, the KU Jayhawks, got outplayed and out coached and you need to be nicer to them. KU is better in football anyway.

They’re worthy. Let’s hope they’re mature enough to handle it.
Translation: I don’t like them.

Thanks for your input Jason. Try not to have a heart attack on your climb up the stairs of Bramlage that I’m sure is still in progress.

In other, more depressing news. . .

Where the frack do they find these hucksters?

Football team sports impressive recruiting class

By: Mike DeVader [Hey Mike! I'm not so sure about you being able to back up your ridiculous headline with neat things those of us in the biz call "facts" but I bet you have some hilarious "arguments."
Posted: 1/31/08
The K-State football team is less than a week away from welcoming in its 2008 recruiting class, and I couldn't be more impressed with what the coaching staff has accomplished the last couple weeks.

National Signing Day is like a second Christmas for college football coaches across the country [And sometimes insteead of an Xbox360, Daddy doesn't get the Christmas bonus and you end up with a Chinese Monopoly set that makes you pee blood and has denominations in Yen], and K-State could have one of its best recruiting classes I have seen [Where have you been looking Mike??! Are you confused and think K-State now plays in the Jayhawk league and we beat out Dodge for a lineman or two?]. At least 30 are projected to sign letters of intent Feb. 6, according to [Things are becoming clearer. Mike is a powertard.].

The recruiting business is somewhat of a gamble, you either do well, or you don't [Recruiting is like life you are either alive or your dead. Recruiting is like Christmas either you celebrate it or you go to hell. Recruiting is like a light switch, on or off.].

I have seen everything from amazing stories like former K-State running back Darren Sproles to huge busts like Marvin Simmons. [You take your chances with all 2 star recruits, I'll take my chances with all 5 stars. Deal?]

In fact, Sproles was so underrated in the recruiting process that ku told him he was too small. He certainly showed them they made a poor choice after he watched quarterback Ell Roberson run for a long touchdown in the spring game and committed on the spot to K-State. Sproles only went on to be the all-time Big 12 Conference leader, as well as No. 6 on the NCAA career list, with 6,812 all-purpose yards.

As for Simmons, well, he didn't do much of anything except fall asleep on the floor in the World Regional Geography class I had with him. [Simmons was a bust. Matt Butler probably played up to his potential. See the difference?]

A lot of people who watched the Wildcats struggle to a 5-7 record in 2007 blame it on the new 3-4 defensive scheme. The change was for the best, but everyone needs to understand the Wildcats didn't have all the right pieces in the system to be successful. I believe this year's class will bring out the defensive results fans have been wanting.[You aren't really defining what that is, but I will sell you my wiener if we allow less than 25 points a game.]

One of the most important positions in a 3-4 defense is the nose tackle [Another important position in the 3-4? 4 linebackers.]. This player is in the middle of a three-man front line and is in charge of taking up space. The Wildcats were relatively small at this position last year and have looked to the junior-college ranks for much needed help.

Football recruits are labeled with stars by recruiting sites to represent prospective talent levels. The least amount of stars is one and the most is five. The Wildcats have three potential immediate contributors next season in this recruiting class We had a few more, but why dilly-dally? The man is on a roll.].

Four-star defensive tackle Daniel Calvin committed to the Wildcats after taking a campus visit and watching the Iowa State basketball game. The 6-foot-3, 322-pounder from Bakersfield, Calif., will be thrust into the role of being the run-stuffer in the middle. The only way Calvin will not be the prized recruit is if five-star defensive end Simi kuli from Torrance, Calif., commits to K-State soon.

Two three-star players, tackle Tony Gillespie from Jenks, Okla., and junior-college transfer John Finau, a tackle from Torrance, Calif., will also add much needed depth to a position that is so crucial to this scheme's success. If anything, these defensive line recruits are a big step in the right direction[Ok. What about the other 20+ dudes? You realize football has 11 players on each side right? You told me about the star system, but you never mentioned the number of players per side. I'm worried.].

Of course, teams need more than one player to be successful [Ok, so you know that football is a team sport.]. It is obvious the team needs to fill some gaping holes [ummm. . . yeah.], and I believe this recruiting class has the pieces to get the Wildcats to where they need to be next season [Way to sneak out of there with out any benchmark of progress at all. You are a slippery one Mike DeVader!].

Mike DeVader is a senior in electronic journalism. Please send comments to

The Battle for Hatten'twn and The Octogon of Doom

The skies were blood red to the East at break of dawn
on the 'morn the Argyle Rangers marched in to Hattan'twn
They carried the crest of King Lawrence's crown
and came to claim their right to Hattan'twn
A score and a quart of since the resistance had come
but the Wildcats of Hat'twn had no reason to run
The young had gr'wn strong and the weak had re'tired
The decrypt had died and the c'wardly c'ried
For a score and a quart the Hattan'twn had been taken
A sentry, an assass'n, a cobbler, a scout and a mas'n
All stood to prove the crown of Argyle mistak'n

As the troops settled in to their camp at Poyntz on Fairfield
They ordered their ales and pillows and let down their shield
The town had assembled and gave them no quarter
sending couriers to'n'fro with clever threats of thick mortar
Then the hens were sent, with a laugh, in a tizzy
Sending feathers from bird, not pillow, in Fairfield a'flurry
As the troops left their roost they prepared for a fight
but they laugh'd for this rank'r in the thought of the night
As the troops were positioned in front of the smallest of castle
The sentry blew his horn and the townspeople assembl'd
"This Octogom of Doom," they scream'd, "Will be the force that shall end you!"

The King of Lawrence was there shaken, his puffy face
and horse hair helmet blew up in disgrace
The first volley was fired from distance with surprise
as the Crown of Lawrence fought off their demise
The Hatten'twn people grumbled with the fear
That this would be such as evr'y year
As the trumpets did sound the rally'ng cry
The people responded "Fighting! Ev'r Fighting, for a Wildcat Victor'y!"
The Assassin responded with great skill in response
and the battle for freedom had begun all at once
The defeaning roar of the townspeople took hold
And shook the grounds, and the Jayhawks like cold

The mor'n of the battle the skies to the East
brought purple at dawn and hope to the fiefs
The gallant riders of the King from Lawrence did fight
with flowing capes, and new swords, and bejewled boots of ligh't
But the peasants of Hatten'twn with great vigor did engage
and soon the lines of the King did sway, nay, break
Out rushed the old Cobbler armed with only a hatchet
the young Mason deflected shots with only a brick basket
Soon after came the Sentry a beautiful sight seven feet sevent'een stone
The brave Scout rushed on out and slashed with his 'chete, the Assassin cracked bone
and shot from range with intent and they defeated the Crown to take back their home

As the Jayhawk'rs scrambled and ran home defeat'd
The Wildcats took to their 'Ville with expectations exceed'd
They took to the streets with Ales in hand
And the winter cold was shrugged off with songs of the band
"Loyal to thee, thy children will swell the cry, HAIL HAIL HAIL Alma Mater"
For the win was triumphant! The city were saved! The people of Hatten'twn screamed for their Fath'rs!
For the Mason! To the Cobbler! Here's to the Scout as well! The Assassin, The Sentry who held off the King!
The Assassin and Sentry are brave as can be! For as long as they'r here, let the Tower Bell ring!
The Octogon Held! The Doom was Foretold! Ye Shall not enter without your debts paid!
The Octogon full of townspeople still haunted the king. The mem'ry of will not yet fade.
The fiefs of Hatten'twn with Wildcats in tow, Took more than Crown gave.


Anyone ever watched a game with a big group of “VERGINABAGS” that weren’t happy about the outcome of, say, the KU v. KSU basketball game and the “havebuttsexwiththeirbrothers” KU fans decided they were both drunk and pissed at the same time and would key your car and start a fight with your wife because they outnumbered you by eleventy to fuck!? Then, you feel bad about them being “sonssssofbitches” and you kicked in the crotch the whole bunch of them because they were fucking “asshats” (< sp?) and couldn’t take the loss of their “PERFECT TEAM THAT WAS SO FUCKING GOOD!” and after about 30 minutes of pure slobbering(earhurts?) it got broken up by the Lincoln, NE PD!?!?!?!?!………………….. Fuck, I hate the Lincoln PD……Thanks HITLER, I’M SO GRATEFULYOU GAVE ME MY RECEIPT FROM FILLING UP WITH GAS EARLIER BACK BUT NOT MY KEYS YOU FUCKING NAZI SHITFUCK. Anyone been through that? You should just say scoreboard from now on, to them. SCORBOARD!

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Poll Watch

Let’s get down to the nitty gritty and take a look at this week’s AP and ESPN/USA Today polls. Okay, no reason to delay, so let’s get started. Here we go. As you might expect, the gigantic mountain of bullshit defecated from one of these polls is only surpassed by the other’s corresponding gigantic bullshit mountain.

Okay, no doubt the first thing you notice is how low K-State is ranked. Based on the way they’ve played recently (The Iowa State game was totally over by halftime. Did you fucking see that shit?), it is clear that the only reason why anyone would have them outside of the top 5 is if their head contains a giant mountain of bullshit. This enormous oversight reeks of anti-KSU conspiracy and is so large that it functions as the entire base of Gigantic Bullshit Mountain. All the way around.

Okay, let’s hop on the gondola, head up the mountain, and take a look at the scenery and the view. Here we go.

Okay, speaking of conspiracy theories, Kevin Love is one of the fucking fattest players I’ve ever seen. UCLA is unquestionably out of shape and will be sucking so much wind in the NCAA tournament that they won’t make it past the round of 40. That’s why they should be ranked at #20.

Okay, as we ascend, the peak of Mt. Gigantic Bullshit comes into view. Congrats on trying to Tressel your way to the summit, Memphis and KU. The joke is on you, though. My inside sources tell me that STRENGTH OF SCHEDULE is huge for the Final Four voters this year. You guys are fucked.