Thursday, February 28, 2008

God's Forced Captive Breeding

Here at Gods we try to make up for society’s numerous embarrassments. Our newest initiative is the forced breeding of two subsets of the world’s most important and influential figures. Big 12 basketball coaches and Politicians have always been known as the gas that makes the world engine go. Now, we here are Gods are going to take that up just a few fucking notches. Breeding these two sets of awesome together may just get us to the next evolutionary jump that puts us over the edge.

Our third forced breeding brings together a man who may very well be our next president and your mom....and Scott Drew and Mr. Rogers watch. Some people have questioned the scientific reasoning for this experiment. Some have even been as bold as to say it wasn't needed. Some even had the iron nuts to say we weren't even breeding coaches and politicians. We here at Gods hear your complaining and shrug it off like a polo cardigan after a set of mixed doubles before brunch. The reasoning is simple, if Scott Drew is such a Baptist son of a bitch why does he sit there smacking Mr. Rogers on the ass while watching McCain engage the enemy from behind? Now you see what's going on. Drew ISN'T EVEN BAPTIST probably. HE CHEATS ON HIS WIFE from what I've written. HE SMOKES MARIJUANA CIGARETTES AND BUYS MALE PROSTITUTES OFF E-BAY as far as you know. Baylor made a mistake in hiring him and your mom made a mistake in sleeping with John McCain. I mean, Mr. Rogers is dead for Christ's sake, what kind of sick freak is she?

Gods' scientists didn't even know McCain was visiting your mom's honey wagon but their guess is the good traits they hope to see in the offspring and the bad traits they hope to avoid are as follows.

Good: Being a presidential contender

Bad: Being a whore, finding your spanky sock and confronting you about it, sleeping with your dad


Anonymous said...

it is true. all of it, from the male whores to the mary j. to the sending $15,000 in small bills to ms. dunn via fed ex, and another $10,000 (money order) to her illegitate (possibly mine) offspring.

i am a baptist though.

ClayKat said...

This is too long. I didn't even read the whole blog and I don't have anything to do today except read blogs.