Thursday, March 6, 2008

God's Awesome Gift Forced Captive Breeding Program

Here at Gods we try to make up for society’s numerous embarrassments. Our newest initiative is the forced breeding of two subsets of the world’s most important and influential figures. Big 12 basketball coaches and Politicians have always been known as the gas that makes the world engine go. Now, we here are Gods are going to take that up just a few fucking notches. Breeding these two sets of awesome together may just get us to the next evolutionary jump that puts us over the edge.

Mark Turgeon has some problems. We all know it. Look at that spot in his hair, I mean, what the fuck is that!? Now look at Hillary Clinton. "WHAT!?" you say, "Hillary can't be compared to that D-Bag!" That's right, she can't, she's twice the man he is. While Mark has probably been caught cheating at D&D by his Mountain Dew drinking friends at sleepovers within the last few years, Hillary has been leading her Capital Hill softball team in slugging AND outfield assists. That's why we are looking to breed the "messed up white spot in hair" and "barely a man by even scientific standards" gene from his lineage by pairing him up with the quentisential man's man, Hillary Clinton.

Getting these two together wasn't hard. Hillary spit out the Redman she was chewing and hopped aboard before we could even give her direction. "Get loose now!" was all she said and our scientists knew to move aside. The action was over fast and our men have high hopes that we can isolate the good traits of the two while avoiding the bad. Here is what we're shooting for:

Good traits: Virility, Cocksureness, RBIs
Bad traits: Cankles, White hair spot

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