Omaha 2008: The Real Battle

When people tell me about World War II, I start leaning back in my USD 383 issued chair and drool spittle on my shirt. Whenever I come to, I let out a gaping yawn and give the teach a good "BOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRREEEENGGGGGGGGG!!!!" to let them know what's up.

Why? Do I hate history? Am I retarded? Am I an asshole? No, not really. I just like logic and facts.

FACT: Omaha is in fucking NEBRASKA holmes. I don't know where you got your shiny little Education degree (probably not at the first and most prestigious Morrill Land Grant Institution of Higher Learning with more Udall, Rhodes and Marshall scholars than any other public university) but I'm no sucker. Ok? (See: Fig. 1)


Fig. 1

FACT: Because Omaha is in Nebraska and Nebraska is in these Continental United States of America then a World War II battle could not have been fought there because guess what? I'm going to go slow for you Mr. Fantsy Pants: WORLD WAR II WAS FOUGHT IN TWO MAJOR THEATERS: EUROPE AND THE PACIFIC. IS NEBRASKA IN EITHER OF THOSE GEOGRAPHIC REGIONS? (See: Fig. fucking 1 for help)

stfu, teach.

FACT: Omaha has no beach that could accommodate, and I quote: "The Invasion Fleet was drawn from 8 different navies, comprising 6,939 vessels: 1,213 warships, 4,126 transport vessels and 736 ancillary craft and 864 merchant vessels"

CONCLUSION:
So in conclusion, this history mystery has been DEBUNKED, teach. Carry on your indoctrination of America's youth with your World War II conspiracy theories. I'll be watching the real battle.

TONITE ONLY!

QWEST CENTER IN DOWNTOWN OMAHA!

6:10 PM CST!

KANSAS STATE VS. USC!

NCAA TOURNEY!